What sound does a mastodon make?

"Shoot 'Em Up" was possibly the best movie I have seen all year. Actually, scratch that, it is the best movie I've seen all year. By far. Actually, that was the best 5 dollars I have spent of 2007, no joke.

I'm reading about this shadow-of-a-person complaining on IMDB: "Oh, this movie sucked and then some. There was no plot whatsoever." First, there actually was a plot. And even if there was NO plot, who would care? It feels like you're barreling down a gravel road at 150: there's no way it could be more out of control but there's no way in HELL you could get a bigger adrenaline rush out of it.

I really don't understand how the guy (or anyone) couldn't appreciate "Shoot 'Em Up." The sheer guilty pleasure factor alone would end up getting to you if you weren't holding completely stupid grudges against seemingly unintelligent movies. After Clive Owen has killed someone 1m 20sec into the movie and jumped through a window to the words of "Fuck you you fucking fuckers," you know the cinematic value is going to end up not just beating, but stomping a hole in "Titanic."

Clive Owen is really at the top of his game here, and while the role isn't an incredibly demanding one, you can help but love him. To be honest, I've always liked the guy. He was great in "Inside Man" (which has got to be my favorite heist movie, barring the original "Italian Job") and he was by far the best out of the field of actors in "Sin City." Which, if I may go off on a slight tangent, is an overrated movie. Sure the art direction was amazing, but that's akin to liking a painting only because it is pleasing to the eye. It wasn't a *bad* movie so much as it was just overrated. And also while we're talking about Frank Miller, I'm going to go ahead and tell you "300" was trash. It was hollow, shallow, unbelievably inaccurate, and it was pointless, especially after seeing "Shoot 'Em Up." A lot of people who might have gone into the theater to see "300" without a brain came out without one, as opposed to the way "Shoot 'Em Up" presented itself to viewers considering it after the fact: as an outstanding satire of 21st century action flicks. "Shoot 'Em Up" was fun, and was with purpose, which is far more than most movies bother to deliver nowadays.

There aren't too many things I want to give away about the movie, because I went in knowing nothing about it and that made each successive scene all the more ridiculous. You will never see carrots the same, I'll tell you that much. The movie was done wonderfully, was wildly hilarious, and you might even be able to think about it afterwards.

5/5